How To Get Tied Up!

Have you dreamed about doing shibari rope bondage?

Have you ever had a delicious hug that you didn’t want to end?

Have you ever felt like you were the center of someone’s attention, and the world melts away?

Have you ever yearned to be touched by someone in a tender, forceful, or intentional manner?

Have you ever wanted to let go and let someone else take control, just for a few moments?

Maybe you like feeling constricted and enjoy that sense of being taken captive?

If any of the above options hit close to home, you may like to be tied up.

Those are just a few of the reasons that rope bottoms (those tied up) have shared with me about why they like to be tied up. And as the one doing the tying (Top), I enjoy helping my partner to feel those feelings when we tie.

 Curiosity is the fuel for discovery, inquiry, and learning.” – Anonymous

There is an excitement that fills me every time I get to share with someone curious about shibari.

It is the look in their eyes, the feeling of anticipation, and the amazement at the opportunity before them.

And they (you) should feel this way; this is one fantastic activity in which to participate.

Discovering the side of you that wants to add something special, maybe unconventional, and perhaps even taboo, is an adventure that is sure to wake the senses.

Now you might be wondering, what does it take to be tied up?

The first thing that you need is a partner. Hopefully, one that is willing to go on this journey with you. If you are unsure how to ask your partner about this, please read this post for helpful suggestions.

If you do not have a partner, do not worry. You may be able to find one at the local rope group. Many communities have them, but you have to know where to look.

So, let’s assume that you have a partner that wants to go on this journey with you. What happens next?

Many people run out and buy rope at the hardware store or local adult store, but I would caution you against doing that. Not all rope, even rope sold in the store saying it is for shibari, is made for shibari. It is essential to get a suitable rope so that you don’t get frustrated or accidentally injure your partner from rope burn.

Wait on purchasing rope, for the moment.

The first step that I would encourage you to take is to find a local rope group that offers classes for newcomers or find a group that will teach you privately. Go to that class first. Ask them about what rope they use and where they purchased it. This way, you will know you are getting the right rope for the intended purpose.

Each class will be different. However, they should talk about several important aspects of doing rope bondage safely and effectively. Here is a list of things we teach in our introductory courses:

• Rope Safety
• Equipment You Need
• Negotiation/Vetting
• Rope Types
• Physiology/Anatomy (the physical, emotional, and mental aspects of rope bondage)
• Aftercare/Check-ins
• Safewords
• Community

That is certainly not an exhaustive list, but it gives you some critical things that should be discussed.

Once you have gone through a class or two, you will feel much more confident about tying or getting tied.

These are the steps that we feel are the best way to mitigate risk and improve communication.

Step 1. Vet the partner (if they are new to you)

Step 2. Negotiate the expectations of the tie.

Step 3. Do the tie.

Step 4. Aftercare (immediately after the tie)

Step 5. Post tie check-in a day or two later to discuss the tie. (optional)

There is a LOT of detail in each of those steps. So, please educate yourself on what each of those steps entails.

Until next time!

- SirKnottyDan